The importance of anger

This weekend while traveling back from a dear friend’s wedding in Boston, I read a wonderful article in The NY Times entitled “Brave Enough to be Angry”.

The article talked about how women have been criticized and shamed for expressing anger.

I nodded in agreement as I read the article because anger is one of countless emotions that I avoided feeling for years.

​​​​​​​I didn’t know how to be angry. I knew how to be bitter. I knew how to be resentful. I knew how to slap on a beautiful smile and pretend that everything was OK. But I didn’t know how to feel anger because anger was ugly and nice girls didn’t get angry and weren’t supposed to look ugly.
 
So I pretended for decades. I pretended that I didn’t have unpleasant feelings. I pretended to be happy all the time. I ignored my rage and turned it inwards instead. The lifetimes of anger and rage turned into depression, anxiety, and addiction.​​​​​​​But the truth is that I was pissed and I had to learn to really feel and embody anger as my teacher and healer.​​​​​​​When I finally opened the floodgates, I felt anger towards everyone and everything – the system, the leaders, my parents, my ancestors, my friends, my husband, men, women, religion, and so much more.​​​​​​​But underneath the perceived anger at others, I was really angry at MYSELF. Anger for all the years that I’d played so small, hid my feelings, fit into a box, pretended, swallowed by voice, said yes when I meant no, self-harmed, people-pleased, and ignored my own needs.
 
​​​​​​​I thought I was mad at the world, but I was mostly mad at myself. And underneath that anger was sadness. And underneath that sadness was a longing for change. Anger was the access point for Truth. It’s a potent guide.

​​​​​​​Anger is one of the most powerful emotions we have as women. We use anger when a boundary has been crossed and when something sacred has been violated. It can be a doorway to tremendous healing.

​​​​​​​Thank god we’re becoming brave enough to be angry.

​​​​​​​May the fire of anger heal us, clear us, and return us to our inner power.

​​​​​​​May the anger propel and activate us into change – first within ourselves and then in the world.

Is there anything you’re angry about that you are willing to give yourself permission to feel so you can heal?

​​​​​​​Seriously. Think about it – what are you angry about? The anger is a simply trying to get your attention.​​​​​​​Let the anger be a catalyst for change.

​​​​​​​In truth and love,

​​​​​​​Julie

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